So I just saw this video on Youtube and the fact that it’s dated 2010 shows how incredibly behind the times I am. Add to the fact that I didn’t even know who Chely Wright is and you may be wondering what I’m even doing writing this post.
Well, regardless of how old these words are they still ring true in my life. Yes, I grew up as the son of a baptist missionary in the UK and yes, I’m gay. And while that may seem like some sort of cliche’, what often makes me stop to wonder if there’s anyone like me is not my past, it’s not who I was but it’s who I am now. Too often I feel like I’m straddling a barbed wire fence- a fence that was never meant to be straddled. I have one foot in the gay community- supporting gay rights, marriage equality and on the never ending search to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I have the other foot in the christian community- attending church, studying theology, spending time in prayer, meditation and reading the scriptures. There are plenty of people on either side of the fence who would call me a fool. Maybe I am. Perhaps I’m a fool who can’t make up his mind and leave one side of the fence behind. But regardless, there is woven within me both sides of this battlefield. I’m as much a believer as a homosexual. So I wonder, is there anyone else out there like me?
I’ve met other gay men who were brought up as sons of pastors, missionaries, deacons, etc who have left the ideology they were brought up with behind them and put away their faith and love for Christ and the scriptures. And I’ve met some men who are very dedicated, devote believers who will never admit to themselves or anyone else their attraction for other men. So is there anyone else straddling this painful fence?
Or am I alone?